riotous_head: (Default)
Seeing the news coverage of Mumbai makes me remember being young and stupid and convinced that no one would get hurt in a revolution rightly conceived and conducted. I can't remember why I believed it.

For Rey

Aug. 1st, 2008 07:28 pm
riotous_head: (I Dare Damnation)
*recently, Laertes has acquired an actual couch for their apartment; he is currently sprawled across it, doing a crossword--which bores and annoys him, because his pop-culture knowledge could fill a thimble with room left over. at length, he calls over to Rey* Let's go out this weekend. Camping, swimming, a picnic--anything, so long as it gets us out.
riotous_head: (Do You See This O God?)
*we can only assume that there was a beautiful wedding today--moderate attendance, mostly just close friends and family; there were probably panic attacks and wardrobe malfunctions and tears and a great deal of joy.

now, though, it is very, very early morning in a hotel on the south coast of France. the buzzing energy of terrorjoy has faded, and Laertes is simply tracing the curve of Reynaldo's cheek. he smiles, grateful, thoughtful, and says very quietly* I've been thinking.
riotous_head: (Do You See This O God?)
Sorry to hear about this. I might have very little love for the prince of Norway, but that doesn't mean I actively wish for Norwegian buildings to cave in.

I'll light a candle for them in church this weekend. It's strange that that was my immediate response.
riotous_head: (Bad Day)
*this is Laertes.

this is Laertes on crutches.

feel free to laugh at him as he crutches down the sidewalk, cursing whenever he hits an icy patch*
riotous_head: (Do You See This O God?)
*a quiet Friday night--Laertes curled up in bed, not quite ready for sleep for all the lights are off. he stares into the darkness for a moment, picking out the outlines of the closet or the bathroom door, and then nuzzles against Rey and asks eversosoftly* You awake, love?
riotous_head: (I Dare Damnation)
*it's been a week of togetherness for Laertes--what with visiting Rey's family and such--and this Monday, he is rather optimistic about his night class. a few students had seemed sincerely contrite about not having spoken to him about their total inability to speak French, and now that they've moved past the archaic stuff into Renaissance poetry, he's even hearing occasional class discussion.

nonetheless, he feels a need to fortify himself beforehand, so he hops the bus for the mall and slides onto his usual stool at the Coffee Shop Where Everything Happens. if Guildenstern can't restore his faith in academia, nothing can.*

Hot chai, please?
riotous_head: (Thought and Affliction)
Had another session today; we talked about strategies for expressing frustration or anger. Apparently, exercise is actually one of the best outlets--there's a feeling of accomplishing a goal, the endorphin rush, and the exhaustion at the end of it. Dr. Marcus thinks that the problem isn't how I express my frustration; it's that I'm not thinking of this as another way that I'm communicating. That problem-solving versus relationship-building thing again--I'm solving the irritation, and yet to do it, I'm going to be by myself. Rey, I know you read this; I'm sorry if it seems as though I leave you every time I'm upset.

He gave me a few suggestions for how to be more inclusive even when I'm dealing with a foul mood. I could take up music lessons again, voice or an instrument, and that would give me something that I could do at home to give me the same feeling of working toward a goal. Otherwise, I could invite Rey along with me when I go for a run or to the gym.

What do you think, then? Would you care to take up running with me?
riotous_head: (Thought and Affliction)
Therapy was as frustrating as I had anticipated, but for wholly different reasons. Dr Marcus mainly just wanted to listen to me talk, I suppose in the hope that I would figure things out on my own if I only spoke long enough. When I finished explaining the general trend of problems and the specific incident of Monday night, he didn't seem to want to make any suggestions outright. We agreed that I feel as though my problems stem from a desire to communicate what bothers me, whether it's something that frustrates me and that I have to express or something that I feel needs to be solved. Eventually, he mentioned that people communicate for different reasons, and this influences how they react to what they hear. He thinks that I should evaluate whether my communication is geared toward problem-solving or relationship-building, and what functions I want it to serve. Thus, this entry.

I think that Rey communicates to build relationships; it seems to justify the way that he listens to me sometimes just to hear me talk, to give me the feeling that someone is listening. It frustrates me, sometimes; it seems as though I'm not being taken seriously when I'm trying to discuss something that I find important.

I suppose this means that I communicate to solve problems, even when they're relational problems.

Dr Marcus asked me to evaluate what this means, but I'm not sure by what criteria I should be evaluating it. Is it good to want to solve problems? I've always believed it to be; I feel it's both unproductive and in some ways dishonest to recognize a problem and fail to address it. On the other hand, I can hardly find fault with a person who wants to strengthen relationships. Rey doesn't mind if our concerns aren't solved, so long as our relationship is stable--and honestly, he's far more successful in keeping the peace than I am at solving our problems. It seems absurd for us to continue as though we're at cross purposes when our goals appear more compatible than contradictory. If our relationship is good, we'll be better equipped to solve our problems. If we can deal with our problems, that should improve our relationship.
riotous_head: (Bad Day)
*he storms in from his Monday night class at ten at night, flinging his bag down beside the door. it's raining outside, and his hair and jacket are drenched; the neck of Rey's shirt is drenched, and he strips down to his undershirt quickly* My students *he announces to the general listening public* are fucking imbeciles.
riotous_head: (canon!Love!)
*Laertes is sitting on the little metal landing at the top of his stairs, dangling his feet over the edge and chewing idly on a stick of cinnamon. the flavor is strong (earlier, it was eyewateringly so), but he finds the smooth curve of the cinnamon in his mouth is almost as relaxing as his formerly-habitual cigarette. he's waiting for Rey to come home from work, putting together a tentative roster and practice schedule for the fencing team as he does so.*
riotous_head: (canon!Love!)
*when Reynaldo gets home from work, he may notice a small change--namely, that there is a box of pansies and primroses hanging from the balcony rail. and when he gets inside, he may notice rosemary, thyme, coriander, and basil in a row on the windowsill (and the desk moved away from the window so that Ella can't knock the pots down). he may also notice a large pot of African violets on the countertop, and Ella eying it from the vicinity of the microwave--Laertes is trying to distract her with a toy, and he looks up when Rey enters, with a small smile* You did say you wouldn't mind flowers, honestly gotten--
riotous_head: (I Dare Damnation)
*Laertes comes into the coffeeshop during Guil's work hours, because this is always the most reliable way of finding Guildenstern--he sits himself on a stool at the counter and says* Care to do me a favor?
riotous_head: (canon!Love!)
*Laertes gets home from tutoring in high spirits--his gym bag over one shoulder and his bookbag over the other, the latter of which he plops down on the coffee table. he withdraws from it two bags of French bread, a styrofoam tray with two tomatoes and a pepper on it, a box of slightly stale doughnuts with chocolate frosting and sprinkles, and a bouquet of slightlydrooping ferns and orchids and rosebuds*
riotous_head: (Do You See This O God?)
Well--that's done with. Dumont just gave me a call to say that they've approved my thesis, and unless I refuse to turn in my final project for Renaissance Poetry, I have officially completed my degree. The success would please me more if Dumont hadn't concluded his call with a menacing afterword: 'See you next semester.'
riotous_head: (Bad Day)
*today, there are two Danes moping about in black--but Laertes is unhappy because the conservatives won in France. and, despite his belligerence, he sounds just slightly sad when he says* Fucking France.
riotous_head: (Thought and Affliction)
*Laertes is sitting on a bench in the park, reading as he waits for Guildenstern to arrive--he's gotten a haircut in anticipation of his defense this Friday, and he may at first be unrecognizable with his curls around his ears instead of down to his chin*
riotous_head: (Default)
*May is fast approaching, and so it's almost that time again--time for Laertes to get a new tattoo. he has a design in mind, but first he has to ask* Rey--could you do me a favor?

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